December 2011
Going to Brazil for two and a half weeks.
I apologize for not being around.
I leave today at 5:00!
I’LL MISS YOU.
but I’m so pumped.
to my followers, please don’t me, I LOVE YOU. and I’ll be back.
REBLOG if when ever you walk in to the doctors,...
tumblrsloth:
more hilarious posts from the sloth
the-absolute-funniest-posts:
Me: How do you find Will Smith in the snow? Mum: He’s black Me: Mum: Me: Mum: Me: You look for fresh prints, but oh my God
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Things that you didn't know:
i-like-pigeons:
Worms may have up to 9 hearts.
You can die laughing.
If sharks get upside down they fall into a coma.
Turtles can breathe through their tails.
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I wish I had half the confidence that I have now...
so when the rumors that my ex spread about me giving him loads of head went around, I would have reacted better.
More specifically to the anonymous person who said to me, “I hear you give great head.”
Two years ago I freaked out and got really upset.
Now I’d just say, “Well fuck, I’d show you but you clearly have a huge vagina and I’m not really into...
Why can't rappers rap about nice things?
damnthatswhatshesaid:
”YEAH GIRL I’MMA TAKE YOUR CLOTHES OFF AND.. put them in a closet for you cause it’s polite.”
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me: my new year's resolution will be to lose weight.
cookies: bitch
cake: stop
bread: trippin
Friend1: "Everybody shut up." *picks up phone* "Hey mom."
Friend2: "Come back to bed"
Friend3: *Various sex noises*
Friend4: "Put your pants back on"
Friend5: "PASS THE WEED"
Me when The Hunger Games tickets go on sale.... →
the-absolute-funniest-posts:
Watching the midnight showing! if there is one… ;__;
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